Arachnophobia Explained

I am not, for the most part, a scaredy cat. Scary movies don't make me jump, I'm not afraid of the dark or small places, I do not look behind me when I'm walking through a parking lot.

Some might even say that I lack the basic, healthy fears. I've swam in the ocean at night, which apparently means I missed getting eaten by a shark by shear luck. Oh, and whenever I have seen an alligator here in Florida, I've always headed towards it to get a better view, rather than running and screaming away from it, which seems to be the normal reaction (Florida people are TERRIFIED of alligators...alligators = the bogeyman here).

However, I do share that most natural and foundational disgust of one animal along with the rest of humanity: the spider.

If I see one, I don't freak out. I don't yell or jump on a chair, and I have no problem with killing one. But I find spiders incredibly creepy. Yesterday morning, I discovered a spider in my shower, a rather large spider. Did I mention that I found it in my shower, immediately AFTER I took a shower...meaning it was in there with me the whole time? Well, I was throughly creeped out. More importantly though, I was able to distill the two things about spiders that are the reason they are so creepy/scary. Here they are, for your benefit:

1. Their rapid acceleration.

No other animal is like the spider in this regard. Spiders have two speeds: standstill and sprinting. There is no in-between. And the scary thing is, that a spider, standing still in some corner, will at any moment run faster than light itself across the wall right at your face. It's the unknowing when it will bolt that is so unsettling. You can be starring at it for minutes, then you slightly move your finger, and all of the sudden it's streaking across the table. This lack of acceleration doesn't give you any time to predict, to react. You're on pure instinct at that point. Bees and wasps could be equally creepy and the bees most of the time could hurt you more, but they aren't nearly as scary as spiders because they are much more predictable.

2. Once you see a spider, you realize they could be anywhere

As soon as you see a spider, you instantly become aware of the fact that that spider had been in your house this whole time, and you only just noticed it. That time you took a nap last week? Yup, he was in your room. That time you were watching the movie? Yup, he was still there. You just didn't know it. He could have been under your bed, or on a shelf, or on the ceiling waiting to drop down on you. Then you realize that he's not alone. There's probably tons of them, everywhere, you just haven't found them yet. There's probably one of them behind you right now.